Friday, December 02, 2005
  mumbai breath
Am working in Mumbai now! Searching for a place to stay. Same old story.

What happens when you decide to look at a situation differently? I felt after I point, I had gotten too clever for myself. "What I could do" was becoming more important than what I did, what I experienced. I was to-do happy. So I have shifted base for some time. I realize a lot of the threads I have been following are incomplete. I want to meet people, bond with people, see things, see what I am doing and how it comes across to others.

I want to finally decide. What is it I would feel comfortable doing all my life, all the time? Leave the other interests/occupations alone, fending for food. Why is this neccessary? Well, if I expect some form of art/creative activity to carry me across to the state of absolute peace... I need to commit to a path. Poetry, video, art, copywriting, internet activism, social venture... what will I bet on?

As of now, I am going strong on art. Visual art, which strongly engages with "bunches of words" I create... I have been drawing regularly since October. I can see something emerging there. I have neglected my drawings for so long!

So in mumbai - I look around. I learn to be relaxed but enthusiastic, easy but passionate, productive but peaceful.... I want to throb with simplicity. Not get caught up in some crazy obtuse trip...
You don't know me Prayas, I am just an intruder to your life. You can say I am a newcomer to writing. And when I read your lines I wished to admire them.

I have just started writing. Not because I am alone or I dont have any work to carry on but my teachers always told me to keep writing and that's it. Doing well in research front but all seems to die out when I step out of my so called research community. I could have earned fortune out of my skills, thanks to my environment and professors who made me realise some very interesting facts about life. I use to argue a lot with my collegues why should we publish. But I could never find balance between "to publish" or "to not to publish". I also wanted to know the impact of my invention or you can say my findings from all others whom I considered the landmarks for career. But in the process I realized that, after each experiment for which I put a tremendous effort and with all enthusiasm I use to perform them, the results were not the thing which gave me so called happiness but the challanges that were involved in setting up the experiments.

We the students of mathematics consider the philosophy as the next stage of mathematics, art as the third, which is more complete and concrete than mathematics and philosophy.

...After a long I have convenienced my self that if one wants to carry out something for whole of his/her life, one should not mix it up with his earning to fullfill basic needs of a human being...

You write wonderfully, will keep on reading you. Time to leave...
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Lining the edge of consciousness with words which behave like timed missiles.

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