filament2
Monday, May 30, 2005
  Liable To Forget
These days are forgettable, from the after-calm of summer, lethargy and passivity - I am choosing. The filament of my mind is already confused.

Waiting is not a primary activity - it has become a primary activity these days.

But being able to selectively withdraw - and think of something entirely different. Like writing, poetry - is so liberating.

Situations are impermanet, states of mind can become semi-permanent. They can become difficult to break out of.

I need not count metaphors, count the range of notes I can sing in. I got carried away yesterday - music entrapped by sound-proof walls. I know no one who would give beats to my paced words - give percussion till I am hopping, everyone around us is hopping and everything becomes a song.

The instruments are all there. Today maybe, I will pitch for work... "Look at me." We find it so difficult to be happy, allow ourselves to be happy - because it takes a lot.

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time at Himmat - it felt nice, except I felt that things could be happening there at much more pronounced and fast pace. Does it take wisdom to allow things to happen slowly ?

Maybe.

Youth and me can possibly disfigure most vision by franctic, mindnumbing enthusiasm. Look at my father - raring to go at 55. If anybody will change the world he will. Will he like to be around in the world of his design... so many details overlooked... Remarkable patience, working selflessly for a concern which is close to you...

How many days later will I count till ten and hold my breath ? Expecting the world to disappear.
 
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when sparks fly - consistenly, the nature of the filament decides what lights up and what fuses out

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Lining the edge of consciousness with words which behave like timed missiles.

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